Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Treeface: The Man With a Tree for a Face - Lozin' Must by Millencolin

Some decisions we make change our lives irrevocably. Whether it's deciding if you should get married, how many children to have, which conditioner to use, or the conditions of your suicide pact, these decisions define our lives. Sometimes we wish we could change our choice. But we can't. Sometimes we're just lozin' must.

Lozin' Must by Millencolin:

It just occurred to me that not everyone would know what the title of this song means. Most people assume that, just because Millencolin is a Swedish band, the name is confusing Swenglish. NOTHING COULD BE FURTHER FROM THE TRUTH.

Now that I've explained what "Lozin' Must" means, let's discuss the band's name. Millencolin sounds vaguely like the word melancholy. According to Wikipedia (frequently thought of as the number one source for Millencolin trivia), that is where the name comes from.  Obviously this is only part of the truth. Mille is Latin for "thousand". Colin is Colin Firth's firsth name. Imagine one thousand Colin Firth's. Now close your eyes and imagine them all saying nice things about you. Mmmm. I could just melt.

What were we talking about? Oh yeah. Decisions that change our lives (look back at the top of the post if you've forgotten). What if there was a meteor?

Ok, there's a meteor. What if that meteor fell near your home? Wait, is that a comet? What's the difference between a meteor and a comet? Sometimes I like to not use the internet to look up the answers to questions. That way I can try to argue about why I'm right.

Tip: Don't touch something that just fell from space. The singer did not listen to this advice. The meteor explodes.

Miraculously unexploded, the singer discovers that he has a bit of a problem.

He is getting a tree for a face. He is a treeface. Now he is truly lozin' must.

He scrambles to the ground to try to find a solution in his shag carpeting.

There's a man there!

What happens next is one of my favorite music video moments of all time.

Why is there a fish swimming through the carpet? I love this stop-motion fish. That fish is truly lozin' must.

The singer gets pretty down at this point. He has a tree face and is a treeface. But maybe he can still live a long and full life. There must be someone out there who can love a skeezily bemustached treeface.

That is the saddest smile ever captured on Swedish punk rock video.

Having given up on ever living a normal life, he decides to become a monster. Luckily, all treefaces can shoot lasers out of their eyes. He destroys a plant.

He destroys his cereal, which is hilariously called Hockey Score.

He moves on to advanced techniques such as the over-the-shoulder laser shot.

His transformation to monster complete, the story ends.

Besides the main story line, there are a lot of good live-without-an-audience shots.

That guitar player back there has such stupid hair. I almost can't stand it. There's also the other guitar player who is wearing a baseball hat for some reason.

Not pictured: this guy's stupid hat.

Also, there is the drummer who was voted the least dynamic drummer of the year every year from 1993 to 2013.

That's a 20 year streak. That'd be impressive if the drummer's constant goal wasn't to be completely unimpressive.

There's also a lot of fun animation.

I love the Millencolin sign. Also, all of the windows open out to animations.

You may also notice that the band is playing in a room and someone left the door to the bathroom wide open. That's how things are in Sweden.

This video is such good fun. It can also be serious, though. During the bridge, when the chords get minor, everyone is feeling really introspective.

Having the singer with that mustache in that make-up singing about how it's been a tough time for him this past year is just wonderful.

Millencolin - don't let them stop you from just being you.


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