Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Any Man of Mine Better Walk the Line - That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain

In Stand By Your Man, women are commanded to, "Stand by your man. Give him two arms to cling to and something warm to come to when nights are cold and lonely." While most women are content to be a warm something, some women demand more. They'd prefer to be referred to as "someone" rather than "something". They have opinions independent of those held by the man they are associated with. These women are called feminists.

So how does a feminist select a man? She doesn't just take the first man that comes along and gets her pregnant. She is looking for a very specific person.

Let's find out if this video is feminist. That Don't Impress Me Much by Shania Twain:

Shania Twain is not easily impressed. She is very demanding of men. Her first hit, Any Man of Mine, led us to believe that men she is interested in must do whatever she wants and spend a lot of time hugging and squeezing her. This video raises the bar even higher.

Is it feminist, though? According to this song she is looking for someone to keep her warm in the middle of the night. I find that blankets and a furnace usually do a good job of that for me. So who knows. Once again we are left wondering whether Shania Twain is a feminist or not. I'm highly suspicious since most of her songs are about men. I feel like a feminist would spend more time singing about non-relationship stuff like spaceships or cowboy hats.

One thing that is definitely feminist, though, is that she refuses to be helpless. No matter what her situation she does not need a man to help her. The video opens with Twain wearing a fully coordinated outfit (your luggage must match your coat and all of your clothing) in the middle of the desert.

No one else is around for miles. How will she get home?

Luckily, a man on a motorcycle arrives.

I like to imagine that she is just standing in a desert with her thumb out. She's probably been there for days until some insane person decided to drive across the desert for no reason. That's how you hitch a ride so that is how she is doing it.

She is not happy with the man on the motorcycle (who is apparently a rocket scientist) so she will not ride with him.

He is super bummed.

Several weeks later a huge truck arrives.

It's more likely that at this point she is hallucinating from sun exposure and dehydration.

The guy is pretty good looking except he is wearing a baseball hat with a crease in the bill. Low class, dude.

Naturally Twain rejects him.

During the guitar solo she turns off a valve that comes out of the desert ground for some reason? I don't know what's going on here.

The pipes represent men and by turning off the valve she indicates her non-impressed-ment.

A dude in a rad hot rod shows up.

He leans out of the car invitingly.

Naturally, he is rejected.

At this point Shania Twain gives a delightful smile.

She smiles between two lines of the song and it doesn't make a lot of sense. Her expression while singing the line before and the line after is totally different from the smile. Why is she smiling like that? She's like a modern-day country-Mona-Lisa.

A guy on a Jeep tries to pick her up.

He is extremely attractive and has a spot on his face, around his eyes, that is not filthy.

To try and clean off the filth he pours water over his face while shaking his head back and forth.

Awesome, but rejected.

Then a man dressed as an Arab arrives on a horse.

Naturally, Twain rejects him immediately. Too ethnic.

Ultimately she is still alone in the middle of the desert.

That is dedication. She will probably die out there.

Also, I'm just noticing that Shania Twain kept sticking her thumb out for a ride, waiting for the vehicle to stop, and then waving the driver away. What a jerk! I'd be so pissed if I were one of the drivers. If she didn't want a ride why did she stick her thumb out?

Man, total dick.


Note: I will not be posting tomorrow or Friday due to Thanksgiving. Another Flavor returns on Monday, December 2 with more music video fun.

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