Tuesday, October 29, 2013

Never Again No No - Nobody's Fool by Cinderella

Sometimes I wonder what it must be like for music video directors. You are dealing with creative elements in the band while having your own vision for the video. Everything must be a compromise. Here's what I imagine the conversation went like for the video for Nobody's Fool by Cinderella:

The Band (in unison):
We are called Cinderella. What if we do a midnight transformation?

Director:
That sounds great. Maybe at midnight the band could transform into regular people instead of huge-haired scarf wearers.

The Band (in unison):
We would prefer sexy women to transform. Have a sexy woman run home and go to bed. And add a scene where a bunch of sexy women want to get with us, but we're all, like, no way.

Director:
You want the video to be about a woman who runs home and goes to bed? That sounds terrible and boring. What about...

The Band (unison):
LALALALALALALA. We can't hear you!

Director:
Fine, let's get this piece shit over with.

Check it out:



Wow.

The video opens with a very significant scene before the music starts. There are two women.


These women look ridiculous. So they change.


They have clocks on their heads and now that they removed their glasses boys will make passes at them. Or will they?

Looks like we'll have to wait to find out. The two women drive to some sort of private concert. The band playing is Cinderella and they arrive with some women.


Notice how the singer's lips are pursed for no reason. That is awesome.

The women sit down and the band begins to play.


This song is a ballad. Naturally, the band went with a neon background. It represents sensitivity and feelings.

The woman the singer arrived with glances at the clock.


Tip: If your boyfriend invites you to see his band play, constantly look at the clock. Also, check your watch a lot. He'll love it! It shows that you hope there's a bunch of time left for them to play. Not rude at all.

Oh nooooooo! It's almost midnight!


She is shaken. She stands to leave.


Tip: The only thing less rude than constantly checking the time is leaving during the first half of the first song.

She runs away.


Run for it!

She arrives at a house. Is it her house? The tension builds.


It is her house! Or at least a house where she is comfortable lying on the bed.


I bet you thought this video couldn't possibly get more exciting. I mean, the woman already left a concert and ran to a house and fell asleep. What more could you want?

What's happening?!?!?


WHAAAAAT?


Ok, so she puts her arms out, Jesus-like. Then she is changed from revealing black clothing to loose-fitting virginal white. Also, her hair is less ridiculous. No wonder she ran home. The singer from Cinderella would definitely leave her if he knew she wasn't really a tough, slutty, rockin' babe.

The band finishes the song and leaves the venue. Those clock-headed ladies try to get with them, but they're all, like, no way!


Thank god we were introduced to those women at the beginning of the video. Otherwise none of this would make any sense.

The singer is signing some autographs and signs one for a woman with normal hair in loose-fitting, virginally white clothing. Wait, why did the woman run home if she didn't mind being seen like that? She could have just stayed at the show and changed there. Or is the bed necessary for the change? Would she have been stuck in her black, revealing clothing as a tough, slutty, rockin' babe if she didn't make it home? I have more questions than answers.


The singer is very interested in this woman, despite her plain appearance. He seems to not recognize her, even though he walked to the concert with her. Does he not recognize women's faces? Did he never look at her in the face before? I'm not sure what to think.

All I know is that he is extremely sexist.

-PTD

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