Thursday, September 19, 2013

Ridiculous Hairstyles on the Beach - What Makes You Beautiful

If there's one thing I love, it's ridiculous hair. The kind of hair that you're ashamed of looking back, even if "looking back" means looking at pictures of yourself from two months ago. You know what I'm talking about:

Specifically this:

I think it is obvious how awesome this guy's hair is. I couldn't imagine having the guts to even leave the house looking like that, and here he is rocking that 'do in a music video. Sploosh.

So what is this video's deal, anyway? It is actually very similar to the live without an audience format I wrote about yesterday. Except, they add a new wrinkle: cavorting around like a group of morons. The idea is that watching the video is like hanging out with the band. This is what they do every day!

Playing soccer by a van:

Engaging in light-hearted hi-jinks:

Camping or something at dusk?:

That sounds great! They must have a great life! These events create a nice little addition to the group standing in the surf singing. Isn't it strange that they never seem wet?

Here are the main problems with the video, though. First, this person:

What is she doing with One Direction? They want to be with me!

Ostensibly, the song is about a women who does not know she is beautiful. As a result, she is not some stuck up bitch who everyone hates. Instead, the very thing that makes her beautiful is that she doesn't know she is beautiful. Wait a minute, I don't know I'm beautiful! That must mean that One Direction is secretly in love with me!

Well, that's the idea anyway. I'm pretty sure (based on what I've been able to glean from British tabloids) that the young men in One Direction are actually more interested in mixed-gender groups of elk and potato salad but that's not really relevant to the video.

The other main issue I have is that there are five people in One Direction.

You have THE HAIR:


Then there is the vaguely ethnic guy who might be Hispanic or Italian or something:

Then you have the other three guys who have absolutely nothing notable about them. They have mildly ridiculous hair but nothing like THE HAIR's hair. I'm pretty sure each member of the band has several lines in this song, but I can't remember anything about those other three guys. How hard is it to come up with 5 distinct fake personalities for these guys? The Spice Girls knew how to do it right. I'd suggest having one of the guys be black, one of them be a tiny baby, and the last one deeply concerned about the effect of the special editions on Star Wars's lasting legacy.

Get to work, I know you can do it.


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